Before I begin I would like to acknowledge that I had vanished but I have resurfaced after a short hiatus, it wasn't a willing one it's just that no topics were really quenching my creative thirst so I gave it a break, did some more soul searching and reeled in some more life experiences and I am back to report!
We're starting something new today... This is the dependant series, it'll be about 3 or 4 parts long, where I basically talk through my needs for dependency and I also highlight the main three dependencies within my life and obviously pick and choose which are my favourites. To kind of kick this off I want to start with the dependant that I have a love and hate relationship with, love dependants. A love dependant to me is someone who I'd turn to for everything, in my head every crave of satisfaction should be doable by them. But is that ever really the case? I've always been in and out of relationships so I never really got too attached to anyone, they or I never gave myself a chance to, which in fairness saved me from actual heartbreak, but it was bound to happen at some point. My last relationship truly showcased to me what attachment was and I haven't been in a relationship since. I think my desire to always be with someone was to fill in a space of me that I had lost, and when you find someone that can do that well it gets difficult when you have to let go. I was toxic for a while after that relationship, never giving myself space to grow because I felt more comfortable with him than by myself. In my opinion a love dependant to me WAS someone who would move the heavens and earths for me - mind you, they never did - but now it's just more about being present than anything else. Any vacant space within me can't be fulfilled by anyone but myself. A love dependant - Miriam.
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