This blog may feel a little all over the place I tried to organise but just like writing books I’m a pantser so organisation only goes so far. GABZY’S CONCERT I want to start by talking about Gabzy’s concert, honestly it was the first concert that I’ve actually been to - trust me I’ve witnessed many from the comfort of my bedroom - and it was everything it was supposed to be. Knowing me I thought the rain would’ve messed with me and my mood but vibes were on top despite the weather. Gabzy looked like he was straight out of an Usher music video and I loved it. He brought Odeal, JayO and Melvitto - all artists that I stream regularly, so regular they give me a headache sometimes. I won’t lie for the internet so, when Odeal came out yes I did cry a little but hey, I was filled with adrenaline it was happy tears. I wish Odeal did more than one song, but I’ll take it either way, his concert is probably the next one I'll be attending. Honestly, some moments are to be cherished by experience only and I genuinely did that - there were points where the rain was pouring so hard I couldn’t even swipe on my phone to record, so I just stood and watched them perform the masterpieces that they’re so greatly known for. (If you want me to upload videos from the concert to “th3writingspace” Instagram just let me know) DEALING W DEATH & GRIEF IN MY GENERATION I think one of the things I’ve always had to learn early on is how to cope with hardships. I think it’s actually quite ironic that I experienced this, this year because it doesn’t feel like that long ago that I dropped the “grief” blog. On the 5th of May I lost my friend, and it was probably one of the most character building experiences ever. It taught me there’s many more to come, to be realistic with life but also enjoy it more. He was one of the friends that I always had beef with, I mean which one of his friends did he not beef? But I think the main thing was that everyone knew it was all love and all his criticisms came from a good place DEEP DEEP DEEP down, and that’s all that mattered. I felt more for the people that were closer to him than me - hearing his siblings and parents talk about their love for that boy broke my heart over and over again. Honestly, this isn’t an experience I would wish on my worst enemy. Sometimes just sitting next to his grave, having conversations in my head with him or sharing memories with my friends about him genuinely feels like he’s here with us, and when we laugh he does too. Rest in everlasting peace sweet boy, #LLR. DEALING W/ SITUATIONSHIPS One thing I find when scrolling through my blog page is that I do talk about the men in my life a lot - and I actually do hate to see it because I don’t want it to seem like that is the whole purpose of this page - but I just want it on the record that majority of the time when I sit down to blog it’s because I use it as an outlet. Like say for instance now the time is 03:11 AM on August 29th and I am resisting the urge of committing what I believe to be a grave mistake so I’ll tell you about it instead. It’s funny actually because I had this conversation with my brother just earlier today; we were talking about another relationship and I said “why is she so weak in the knees? STAND UP,” - and I mean with all due respect she does need to stand up but it’s much easier to say than do. My brother said back to me, “I’m sure you’ve been weak in the knees before,” and I said, “you only start feeling weak in the knees after 11pm,” and furthered to cackle like a witch, see God innit? I feel like going a full month - and I mean an entire 4 weeks - without talking to this man gave me more insight into his character than actually speaking to him (in both positive and negative ways), but it’s a shame he doesn’t have the same for me. Sometimes I wish I would be able to explain some of the coping mechanisms I’ve previously harboured; a possible coping mechanism that may have pushed him away after the last time we’d seen each other. He constantly shows me why I shouldn’t stay (honestly I’m just waiting for that “you don’t deserve me message” because I’d say the exact same thing back). I can act out on this gender but that doesn’t solve my problems either. I wrote this a couple days back actually, and because I was feeling this way I spoke to him. Not to tell him exactly how I felt or anything, just a message. We ended up on the phone speaking and wow, the switch finally clicked that said “Miriam, get the fuck outta this”.
Sometimes delusion is actually just that, delusion. DEALING W/ EMOTIONAL & MENTAL UNAVAILABILITY One of the issues I was referencing is this and because of me being this way I resort to a lot of short-lived pleasure. For example, I always used to enjoy the thrill of talking to new people and being “onto the next” no matter that it was the same questions, same giggles, same butterflies, just a different person. But when this process starts to become laborious you realise that it gets harder and harder to chase - and as a female should I even be chasing to begin with? Personally, I like the harder “ketch”. I’m into a man that is 100% not into me. So when I flip that percentage into my favour? It’s a win of course, but that’s when you get lazy with it. There’s no more chase. But now I am trying to change this, I’m no longer going out of my way to speak to people, keeping my energy sacred and to myself - I think I forgot that just because I’ve lived by ‘no new friends’ for so long also can mean no new men. It’s not by choice that I’m emotionally and mentally unavailable, but because I have devoted my mind and emotions many a time I just physically can’t do it anymore. DEALING W SOCIETAL COMMENTS As I have said before, I have seen a lot of growth in me over the recent months and dealing with what other people have to say is genuinely a hill I have had to climb. It’s all good to put up a façade that you don’t care, but when you’re honest with yourself you do. It took me a while to accomplish things that certain demographics have never done before or be in spaces that they couldn’t, but I have. And so when I realised that my “transfer market price” was higher than I anticipated, any fucks I gave before flew out the window. I’ll ask the people that have so much to say 2 questions: Can you achieve what I’ve achieved? Can you do it to a level that’s higher than mine? If you are already saying no the first then forget about the 2nd; it’s not about even competing when the people that dislike me probably are into entirely different fields than me, it’s more about being honest that not everything surrounds ego. Sometimes let your guard down because weirdly enough I’d be the first person to welcome you to reality. I think this blog to date is probably the most I’ve ever opened up on here so cherish my heart. Can you tell me in 5 points what you’ve learned the last 4 months? - Miriam.
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I think I’ve reached a place in my life where it takes a lot to impress me - especially being someone from my past spinning the block.
You know, I never used to know how the ladies do it, maybe just the guys I talk to are irresistible (they are not do not believe EVERYTHING I say) but I cannot resist. But I don’t know these days I find myself needing more to allow a person into my life for the first or second time. Depending on how I see you, depends on how I’ll move towards you - if I know it ain't that vibe like that, just know I’m here for a good time not a long time. And boy, can I ghost? The last 10 months have definitely proven to me that I have some very impressive ghosting skills and when I’m ready, I will do it. Probably the last 8 months I have seen the most changes in myself since when I was born, I see myself growing into this private, very live in the moment persona, and I’m not against it. I think what triggered this change was not necessary as I was aiming for this lifestyle anyway but now it’s just, you may know me in person but this relationship doesn’t exceed that. A lot of people know me in person rather than on socials these days. I’m hidden because I find comfort in hiding. I feel like I’ve been doing this for so long that it’s almost second nature but it still counteracts with my personality. I’m a very get to know new people kinda girl but I’ve conformed to a no new friends kinda girl. The transition was quite easy considering what triggered the change but I do miss having the opportunity to merge with certain crowds, but that doesn’t mean I regret it. Regret. That’s another word I’ve been hearing a lot lately. “Oh Miriam why didn’t you come, you regret it now don’t you?” I feel like you’ve got to be a very respectable person to know when an event is not your kind of scene, since I’ve become so private I really do refute the spotlight. It’s funny cause it makes me think about how me and my ex are so different because that nigga? Oh he loves the attention. Even in highly saturated places - places filled with a lot of familiar and popular faces - my social battery dies because that isn’t my scene anymore. I swear I just like to kick it with my peoples, and when I’m sick of them? I kick it on my ones. Chilling with myself has taught me a lot. It’s made many of my actions more meaningful, so the answer to “why didn’t you come?”, is because quite sadly some people will never get that opportunity to attend - and I don’t want them to feel alone in that. Anyway moving swiftly away from that, I think I have writer's block. I know obviously that I wrote this and it came out decipherable, but I don’t know it isn’t as easy anymore. I can’t just say I’m gonna sit down and write a lifestyle blog because my creative juices don’t flow. At this point in time it’s 1:30AM on Monday 26th of June, my phone’s dead and I was about to go to sleep but something told me to hit up notion one more time. I mean, this cannot be healthy. I’m just going to boil it down to the fact that I actually haven’t written properly or consistently in a while and call it a day, but I really do love my craft - I hope she loves me too. For the 5 people that read my blog (I’m being sarcastic but I love my small inner group of viewers) kisses all around. What are you getting up to this summer? - Miriam. It’s like I never stopped blogging but, I just haven’t dropped content in a while.
I’ve been having my summer fun but I think I’m in one of those stages where my writing is contingent on me having certain things that I just don’t right now. But let's get into the nitty gritty. I haven't talked music in ages, but yesterday I did with an artist I never really expected to speak to - but so deeply did want to because I had a few things to get off my chest. You know I think one of the things I desire most is having a hand in my generation's up & comings; I get told way too often that I could be into artist management and it does sound like a bit of me but for now? I‘ll assist from the side-lines - just so long as I get to write about you, and your journey. Recently, I have been discovering a part of me that was always available but is just changing in shape and form I feel like in terms of writing and creating I’m trying to change my approach to gain a better reception, to be honest I’ve been on this vibe for a while now but as I said before, it’s contingent on resources I just don’t have right now. I know what I’m asking for as gifts for my next birthday. I think in that conversation with said artist, I started to like music again. Just talking about it brings out a side of me that is knowledgeable and sweet, I honestly never want to lose that. But is it time for a drastic change? I’ve been thinking for a while now, How I can incorporate music into my life more - similar to how I was telling this artist to incorporate his sound into his music - it all starts with a solid foundation, which if I’m being completely honest, neither of us have right now. But that’s not to say we won’t. Even to end off my night last night, I was tweeting Odeal songs that unfortunately we will never hear due to them being lost in his archives. The minimal reception I gained from that even just shows that there is a foundation to be built, I just have to pool in the bricks and start layering. I don’t know the exact impact I want to have on the music industry but I know that I do want to have one, no matter how big or small. Earlier I did say I’ve been having my summer fun; I’ve been basking in my friendships, just sitting back and coolin’ with my people whilst getting to know new people - however reluctant I may be - hoping they can add insight into my life. If anything, for the rest of the summer I do want to try things I have never actually tried before, I don’t exactly know what that looks like but I definitely feel the need to step out of my comfort zone a lot more. Nevertheless, I have been working also here and there, it’s not the most entertaining thing to talk about as we all should be in that stage where we’re ready to elevate financially but, it’s still something that has been keeping me occupied - aside from getting rejected through indeed a 100 times a day. Say goodbye to chapter 11, let’s begin chapter 12 - Miriam. Before you read, I just want to start by saying there’s a deeper message in this blog and it’s not to fall on deaf ears, but read as you please. I’ve really actually noticed that people are just weird. Recently someone made it seem like they tried to resurrect a friendship with me. Now by now you guys should know that I hold grudges, so there was no way this was going lightly but also, the Christian in me says that i should forgive and so i entered the conversation hostile, yet open-minded. There wasn’t much of an exchange if I’m honest, but that spoke volumes to me about their character and my judgement than anything else. It’s okay to expect the least from people because sometimes, that’s really all they’re capable of. To me it said “weird” in black and white because you never really tried to resolve anything, sounded more like an attempt to show the world that I can be vulnerable and accepting in an embarrassing manner. But I already radiate that, so how did it affect me?
I put in my Instagram thought bubble that “I’m fighting a couple niggas’ demons because of soul ties” and I stand to believe this isn’t fair because they’re not dealing with them. I think that at certain stages in life we’re all meant to face hardships, but all that unnecessary or excess suffering comes from stuff like that; you weren’t destined to be in that state but because of that tie you have to deal with that alongside someone else. I know personally that these lot are not dealing with their demons, people busy themselves with other things so often to avoid looking within and fixing within. It’s not fair to me that I have to feel attached to you yet you can’t see any type of attachment to me because you’re too busy LOCATING your demons, yet they’re standing right in front of me though? And even if I fight off your demons, that doesn’t solve your problem, it will forever be the person's issue until they resolve it. Like in the past 5 months there has been countless things that I cannot even begin to explain going through, yet I did. And lord knows how I got through it, fuck it how I’m still getting through it but I am. But you see, to still have the attempt to keep my energy pure and respect people as much as I can and others won’t do that for me? It’s so difficult. So why are you being so selfish? Why do you have the time to make soul ties but not cater to them? I’ve never even realised how deeply this actually goes but now I am realising that all my sole moments of reflection and suffering are due to things like this. Moving forward, avoiding this is definitely going to be number one on my agenda because my energy is so sacred, and I hate feeling like I’m just giving out good and not receiving anything back. As in when I say that ties are real? Wow - It’s like I can’t stop showcasing my disbelief for how deep-rooted it is within reality. I never believed in it truly, I just thought that spending time with people will obviously result in an attachment and leave some hurt when they distance, but it’s not JUST that. It is so much more. The visions and things you see in your dreams, the random flashbacks of scarring experiences are all coming to you to open your eyes about a current occurrence, just join the dots. And if you’re battling my demons, I’m sorry but at least I try. Actually what brought me to this grave realisation was watching Qoy & IAMDDB, the way DDB talks about transfers of energies is so pure and so fragile. It honestly puts into perspective how everyone should view their energies, as it affects our livelihoods. A moment of personal reflection - Miriam I’ve held myself back from doing one of these updates for 4 months just so that I could have a quarter structure - if you don’t know why I do this it’s to make it a lot easier to have content to drop and don’t go M.I.A every now and then. But in doing this I probably should’ve recorded things that I wanted to discuss over that period of time, but hey, here we are.
The last 40 days were lent and my religious period was quite strange. I decided to give up a specific thing and yes, initially I broke it but when I repented I changed the structure of my sacrifice, and so I went the rest of the period just fine. Was that for convenience or did God show me a sign? I also asked him to eradicate anything that isn’t beneficial to me or show me a sign so I can fulfil it myself but he didn’t, and so to me I was successful. Next year, I may change my sacrifice because through the period I did still see me upkeeping with some bad habits that I do want to change or minimise. And also going through this period I did face a few hardships and learnt that I find police and government authority more distressing than harmful. I obviously won’t go into detail because I can’t but, through all the stressors I have already, even speaking to them is intimidating and genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable. Police really need a rebrand. Mentioning this it also links to the fact that the past keeps making itself prevalent in more ways than one, and that also seems to be a problem for me. The people and situations that are in the past I’d like to be left there, but it is true that your past really does follow you around. Joke to see that word of mouth is eradicated, guilt still hovers over our heads the same. In January’s update I had mentioned that I was considering therapy? It’s no longer on the cards for me because I’ve realised that opening up has its good and bad days, I just tend to fall in the bad spectrum consecutively and so have decided that some things are better unresolved for now. Also from that update I realised that I talk about leaving a lot of decision in my own hands - as if I even know the first place to start when it comes to certain problems. Independence is cool and all but for the rest of the year I want to stop myself from saying, “I’ll figure it out” and either ask for help or leave it to God because I am literally only one woman; I need to leave the world’s problems alone. Anyway on a brighter note, my blog page celebrated her 2 year anniversary last month. I had to make sure I posted that day because it’s important to mark milestones of success. I would’ve never thought that the entirety of thewritingspace would’ve been as successful as it’s been so far and I’m only thinking of bigger and better ways to expand it. To even see 1,600+ people interacting with my Instagram page alone shows a great succession - in case you don’t know I’ve been doing this since 2015 so to see these numbers isn’t foreign because of Lies & Secrets but makes me happy nonetheless that it’s spreading across platforms. And to end us off, it’s my birthday next week - save the date for the 13th - I don’t have anything planned; I never usually do anything to celebrate my birthday anyway, but to see the love and appreciation will suffice for me. I don’t know what it is, but it’s never really a fully fun or enjoyable day for me so I’ve stopped making attempts to celebrate it. Try tell me this wasn't a good quarterly update hm? 13/04 is my star day, shoot me a message - Miriam. One thing that’s kept me going for the past two weeks is me.
As much as I’m responsible for my hardship, I also kept myself sane through it. What’s funny is actually someone said to me that they can’t quite read me; “It seems as if you’re angry Miriam but also, you love it, you can’t get enough”. I laughed before and after this was said to me. It’s not because I’m entertaining something that I shouldn’t, rather it’s with happiness that I choose to cloak my emotions, no other state than joy. Think about it out of context here, don’t we all plaster a smile on our faces? But because I choose to do it with the ones I dislike, or I'm upset with the most that means you can’t read me? No, you could never read me to begin with. And it’s that same manipulative technique that makes you think that you’re drifting from characteristics you never actually owned. Or even, makes you feel like it’s bad to have a change of character. I hate being compared to someone I refuse to believe I have similar traits to. I’d rather change my own characteristics than be like a person I genuinely dislike. But I guess we need some sort of common ground for what will be a mutual dislike - If I don’t like you, you will hate me and I feel no way about that at all. Now the funniest thing out of ALL this is, thinking you can force a conversation out of me. That is an idea that will have me rolling in puddles of tears from laughter. This expectation bewilders me the most when it’s from someone that I have previously sought refuge in and now no longer do. But their judgement says for my wellbeing they need to talk to me, even if I don’t want to. It’s borderline being a good friend and/or begging it. Just because I am an open expressive doesn’t mean you choose when I’m openly expressive. Believe it or not, I’m very selective with the information I share with other people. It may seem like an accident but I promise you it wasn’t. So to have the audacity to tell me when you desire to hear from me and expect a response? whew, you’re better chopping it up with your reflection mate. Space is honestly the best thing you can have between two people with differing viewpoints or a simmering hatred. But some will just push and push until you reach breaking point, and that’s fine. Just be prepared to weather the storm - Miriam. I think a lot about how the people that surround you influence your music taste, now bear with me I’ll get to the point.
Me and 2 of my other friends used to do this thing during summer - at least once during the season - we’d get together and have a little picnic while playing each other tunes that we think none of us have heard. It might sound a little boring but actually for a person like me who lets music determine her mood it was very helpful in keeping me happy. For one it introduced me to new artists/songs but also kept a good vibe while we lit it up. I mentioned this because not all music my friends listen to is music that I’d be drawn to at a first glance but they’ve definitely opened me up to more and more genres but most importantly, their character. Open your playlist and I’ll tell what life you lead, or whatever they say. I think I understand people a lot more when I hear what kinds of artists they stream, even when I meet new people I get so excited to ask, “What kind of music do you listen to?” And yes, this also means I distance myself from characters that consist of a specific collection of artists because, well, bad vibes. Yet again though, some people’s music taste is deceiving, like characteristics. Someone can act one way and in actual fact have an ugly nature. I’ve picked up listening to French music a lot more after losing a relationship with someone I actually cared about and it’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m always asking myself why I didn’t listen sooner but simultaneously - even if they didn’t introduce me to a specific artist - I associate that genre with that person. Never stops me from streaming though, bun the intrusive thoughts. Recently I’ve also been listening to Reggae a lot more which is attached to a very very vulnerable part of my childhood and so I can honestly never neglect it. My personal favourite is Jah Cure, I know basically his entire discography and his music is nostalgic on another level. I know that when I listen to music it feels almost like a therapy session. Certain artists make me realise things about my current situations that I definitely couldn’t have been receptive to in conversations. For me a conversation always involves a rebuttal - agreeing or not - and so it never really forces me to just sit and be attentive. All in all, does music affect your relationships? It sure as hell affects mine, say you like an artist that I don’t and you’re already in my bad books. I mean how is it even possible to have bad musical takes? Music > Relationships - Miriam. I actually want to start by saying I know I am how I am for a reason and would genuinely only like to see how these changes would impact my life - both positively and negatively - but I’d never rid my true self of being for false pretences.
So, if you could change some things about yourself, where would you start? I think I would begin with my inner self first and see what it’s like to be happy all the time, no problems, nothing. To be honest I don’t think it’d be any different from the façade happy that I imitate but if it was, how different do you think it would be? But not only be happy though, I would never let myself face a mental health issue in my life. Let’s see how naïve and impressionable I become if I never knew inner adversity. For a fact I’d change my inability to withhold/hold back from urges. A lot of my actions are based on impulse, due to this a lot my actions are braced with instant regret - take for example right now, it’s valentine's day today and I made a terrible decision, I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. I’d definitely change my ability to feel guilt, I don’t know about everyone else but when I wrong someone or do something I know I’ll regret - which usually always involves a third party - my regret, guilt, shame all overstay their welcome. To this day I don’t know how to exactly rid these feelings, so I’m just leaving that to God. I’d change my discretion ability when it comes to validation. Now this is not to say I’m a pick me - I sure as hell do not do things for other people’s attention - but sometimes I ask for a second opinion where it is not needed and then don’t when it is? Hope that’s an easy phrase to read. I’d alter the fact that I feel tired a lot, one of the reasons I see myself as less productive is because I spend A LOT of my time asleep - I learnt not too long ago about the psychological works with dreams and sleep, let me know if you want to hear about that in a blog. I think I’d also change music from being my crutch and when I say crutch I mean she’s not allowed to control anything from my emotions and moods to my actions. Trust me I’d never actually want to be without her, but I’d do it just because I want to know what my life would be like if I was less dependent on it and as a substitute, what I would depend on, I still doubt it’d be myself. Externally I don’t believe I’d change much but rather I think these internal changes would take such a big toll on my personality by nature, my external outlook would change. This was one of the shorter blogs but I can guess you learnt a lot about me here. I’ve got plenty of unfinished blogs, we need more than 24hrs in a day - Miriam. Now I just read over the first edition of this blog which was made just under 2 years ago, I actually find this so mad because for one, it does not feel that long ago and two, my opinions have changed slightly.
P.S. I’m not the biggest fan of writing blogs about males but even if I don’t speak to him in years to come I understand self-development because of him, and I won’t forget that. I want to start with the fact that I received any type of closure from this fling to begin with. I don’t believe at that point in time I deserved any closure from him - to be honest he was well within his depth to have left me alone forever, but I just didn’t want things not going my way, and that was selfish of me. I see that now I’m always thinking about how my life could negatively impact someone else before the positives. Even recently I implicated that skill with a different fling and that still went wrong - that’s a story for another day. This specific male is actually someone that I’m in contact with till today but we’ll get onto that a bit later. Anyway a while after me and him had our little fall out - I’m sure I’m allowed to patronise myself - I reached out and I thought he wasn’t going to reply. As I said before I didn’t deserve the second chance I got and honestly when my message went unread for a day? I really felt like it was the end. Fast forward, the first time I actually saw him was summer last year and in his company I acknowledged that my previous feelings of things not being quite over were indeed true. So was that even closure to begin with? With him though, I feel like I’m constantly on my toes but not necessarily in a good way. My inability to predict his next move makes me too self-conscious, I don’t know what his intentions are and so I’m essentially doing what I was doing in the beginning. What was I doing you may ask? Keeping him at a distance because I respect him but this simultaneously meant that he never moves from this distance. I don’t know what it is but if I can’t predict the actions of people I know it makes me uneasy. Predicting someone’s next move can always be risky and you may end up stitching yourself - which is what I had done initially. So yes, I do still talk to him till this day and possibly putting this out there may cause some serious evil eye, but from my forced distance I don’t know whether I’ll be emotionally available to mourn his departure, no matter the impact. Is closure really worth it? I couldn’t tell you because nothing really ended for me aside from my ignorance towards my ability to do wrong - even though that is still very rare. We reconciled indeed, see you Feb 14th - Miriam. I’ve come to you guys this week with an update because although I’ve been dropping, everything has kind of been pre-released so not reflecting what I’ve been experiencing. This blog will be a little all over the place but that’s where I’m at right now.
I actually want to start with talking about the purpose of my blog page to make it a little clearer to some people. This section of my blog is essentially my personal diary, some things I share with relent and others relentlessly. But using my blogs against me? Something I find hilarious. Content creation can be backed up for time, if I never began this by saying it was an update for all you guys know this was written 2 years ago. It’s really important to not take content too seriously because unless you know me personally, I’m telling you there are so many exaggerated truths. And that’s the truth behind content creation. But speaking on things being personal, recently I’ve been choosing selective information to actually open up to some people about - kind of just to gauge a reaction. I want to dish a little incentive of what I’m dealing with around to see if I’m either over or under thinking it. Talking to some people is just like talking to a brick wall, but also I never want to feel like I’m burdening people (I’m sure I’ve said this in another blog) with my issues. Because I’ve become such an open expressive I’ve genuinely been wondering if I need therapy, it’s a big step and I’ve just been mentally battling about it but I’m learning not to become so consumed with my opinions alone; it’s good to hear from others, I promise. Alongside talking to my people, I’ve been coming in contact with some cool people in the industry. I feel like I say this a lot - maybe not documented here - but some “famous” people are actually not what they’re perceived, in a good way though. To this day it still baffles me how people find my content like obviously I promote it how I can but, always seeing new people tuning in warms my heart. Sometimes I forget to promote myself before my friends who are doing amazing things, but having people who actually find me and what I do interesting is honestly what keeps my flame alive. Keep stalking my writing Instagram I have no problem with that - just leave a comment will ya? On my Instagram, I had posted a poem called, “Path to Sobriety” and I’ve realised slowly but surely it’s beginning to reflect my life a lot more. At the time of it being written I had some resonation to what I was mentioning but not necessarily all - yes that is a picture of me smoking in the back but that has nothing to do with what I’m saying. I just feel like on this journey of cracking both my past and present open, I’m relying on a lot of other things to help me with this. To keep sanity, motivation and dedication towards this I find myself seeking ‘sedatives’. I believe I’ll find a way to figure this out as I say for everything. Lastly I quickly wanted to touch on the fact that recently, everyone’s been starting podcasts. I love podcasts dearly, trust me, but the surplus has honestly given me a headache because I feel like there are a lot of the wrong people picking up microphones these days. No shade to myself because this is something I’ve also been considering just in a much different way, but it’s put me quite off to be honest. I’ve been podcast streaming for 3 years now, and 3 years ago was my first incentive to start my own podcast. But 3 years ago did I have my own website? No, and so I never had a platform/knew this was the avenue I was to follow through with. I also think the original podcasters deserve their flowers and some more because a lot of the new gen hardly recognise them. Don’t get it twisted though there are a few podcasts that were established much later that I listen to, but they wouldn’t be where they are if not for the firsts. Anyway, I might start doing quarterly updates just to build up some events to blurt and keep you guys in tunes with what I’m experiencing & noticing. I hope this blog had a nice flow to it because in my head it did - Miriam. |
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