I think I’ve reached a place in my life where it takes a lot to impress me - especially being someone from my past spinning the block.
You know, I never used to know how the ladies do it, maybe just the guys I talk to are irresistible (they are not do not believe EVERYTHING I say) but I cannot resist. But I don’t know these days I find myself needing more to allow a person into my life for the first or second time. Depending on how I see you, depends on how I’ll move towards you - if I know it ain't that vibe like that, just know I’m here for a good time not a long time. And boy, can I ghost? The last 10 months have definitely proven to me that I have some very impressive ghosting skills and when I’m ready, I will do it. Probably the last 8 months I have seen the most changes in myself since when I was born, I see myself growing into this private, very live in the moment persona, and I’m not against it. I think what triggered this change was not necessary as I was aiming for this lifestyle anyway but now it’s just, you may know me in person but this relationship doesn’t exceed that. A lot of people know me in person rather than on socials these days. I’m hidden because I find comfort in hiding. I feel like I’ve been doing this for so long that it’s almost second nature but it still counteracts with my personality. I’m a very get to know new people kinda girl but I’ve conformed to a no new friends kinda girl. The transition was quite easy considering what triggered the change but I do miss having the opportunity to merge with certain crowds, but that doesn’t mean I regret it. Regret. That’s another word I’ve been hearing a lot lately. “Oh Miriam why didn’t you come, you regret it now don’t you?” I feel like you’ve got to be a very respectable person to know when an event is not your kind of scene, since I’ve become so private I really do refute the spotlight. It’s funny cause it makes me think about how me and my ex are so different because that nigga? Oh he loves the attention. Even in highly saturated places - places filled with a lot of familiar and popular faces - my social battery dies because that isn’t my scene anymore. I swear I just like to kick it with my peoples, and when I’m sick of them? I kick it on my ones. Chilling with myself has taught me a lot. It’s made many of my actions more meaningful, so the answer to “why didn’t you come?”, is because quite sadly some people will never get that opportunity to attend - and I don’t want them to feel alone in that. Anyway moving swiftly away from that, I think I have writer's block. I know obviously that I wrote this and it came out decipherable, but I don’t know it isn’t as easy anymore. I can’t just say I’m gonna sit down and write a lifestyle blog because my creative juices don’t flow. At this point in time it’s 1:30AM on Monday 26th of June, my phone’s dead and I was about to go to sleep but something told me to hit up notion one more time. I mean, this cannot be healthy. I’m just going to boil it down to the fact that I actually haven’t written properly or consistently in a while and call it a day, but I really do love my craft - I hope she loves me too. For the 5 people that read my blog (I’m being sarcastic but I love my small inner group of viewers) kisses all around. What are you getting up to this summer? - Miriam.
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It’s like I never stopped blogging but, I just haven’t dropped content in a while.
I’ve been having my summer fun but I think I’m in one of those stages where my writing is contingent on me having certain things that I just don’t right now. But let's get into the nitty gritty. I haven't talked music in ages, but yesterday I did with an artist I never really expected to speak to - but so deeply did want to because I had a few things to get off my chest. You know I think one of the things I desire most is having a hand in my generation's up & comings; I get told way too often that I could be into artist management and it does sound like a bit of me but for now? I‘ll assist from the side-lines - just so long as I get to write about you, and your journey. Recently, I have been discovering a part of me that was always available but is just changing in shape and form I feel like in terms of writing and creating I’m trying to change my approach to gain a better reception, to be honest I’ve been on this vibe for a while now but as I said before, it’s contingent on resources I just don’t have right now. I know what I’m asking for as gifts for my next birthday. I think in that conversation with said artist, I started to like music again. Just talking about it brings out a side of me that is knowledgeable and sweet, I honestly never want to lose that. But is it time for a drastic change? I’ve been thinking for a while now, How I can incorporate music into my life more - similar to how I was telling this artist to incorporate his sound into his music - it all starts with a solid foundation, which if I’m being completely honest, neither of us have right now. But that’s not to say we won’t. Even to end off my night last night, I was tweeting Odeal songs that unfortunately we will never hear due to them being lost in his archives. The minimal reception I gained from that even just shows that there is a foundation to be built, I just have to pool in the bricks and start layering. I don’t know the exact impact I want to have on the music industry but I know that I do want to have one, no matter how big or small. Earlier I did say I’ve been having my summer fun; I’ve been basking in my friendships, just sitting back and coolin’ with my people whilst getting to know new people - however reluctant I may be - hoping they can add insight into my life. If anything, for the rest of the summer I do want to try things I have never actually tried before, I don’t exactly know what that looks like but I definitely feel the need to step out of my comfort zone a lot more. Nevertheless, I have been working also here and there, it’s not the most entertaining thing to talk about as we all should be in that stage where we’re ready to elevate financially but, it’s still something that has been keeping me occupied - aside from getting rejected through indeed a 100 times a day. Say goodbye to chapter 11, let’s begin chapter 12 - Miriam. |
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