I think I’ve reached a place in my life where it takes a lot to impress me - especially being someone from my past spinning the block.
You know, I never used to know how the ladies do it, maybe just the guys I talk to are irresistible (they are not do not believe EVERYTHING I say) but I cannot resist. But I don’t know these days I find myself needing more to allow a person into my life for the first or second time. Depending on how I see you, depends on how I’ll move towards you - if I know it ain't that vibe like that, just know I’m here for a good time not a long time. And boy, can I ghost? The last 10 months have definitely proven to me that I have some very impressive ghosting skills and when I’m ready, I will do it. Probably the last 8 months I have seen the most changes in myself since when I was born, I see myself growing into this private, very live in the moment persona, and I’m not against it. I think what triggered this change was not necessary as I was aiming for this lifestyle anyway but now it’s just, you may know me in person but this relationship doesn’t exceed that. A lot of people know me in person rather than on socials these days. I’m hidden because I find comfort in hiding. I feel like I’ve been doing this for so long that it’s almost second nature but it still counteracts with my personality. I’m a very get to know new people kinda girl but I’ve conformed to a no new friends kinda girl. The transition was quite easy considering what triggered the change but I do miss having the opportunity to merge with certain crowds, but that doesn’t mean I regret it. Regret. That’s another word I’ve been hearing a lot lately. “Oh Miriam why didn’t you come, you regret it now don’t you?” I feel like you’ve got to be a very respectable person to know when an event is not your kind of scene, since I’ve become so private I really do refute the spotlight. It’s funny cause it makes me think about how me and my ex are so different because that nigga? Oh he loves the attention. Even in highly saturated places - places filled with a lot of familiar and popular faces - my social battery dies because that isn’t my scene anymore. I swear I just like to kick it with my peoples, and when I’m sick of them? I kick it on my ones. Chilling with myself has taught me a lot. It’s made many of my actions more meaningful, so the answer to “why didn’t you come?”, is because quite sadly some people will never get that opportunity to attend - and I don’t want them to feel alone in that. Anyway moving swiftly away from that, I think I have writer's block. I know obviously that I wrote this and it came out decipherable, but I don’t know it isn’t as easy anymore. I can’t just say I’m gonna sit down and write a lifestyle blog because my creative juices don’t flow. At this point in time it’s 1:30AM on Monday 26th of June, my phone’s dead and I was about to go to sleep but something told me to hit up notion one more time. I mean, this cannot be healthy. I’m just going to boil it down to the fact that I actually haven’t written properly or consistently in a while and call it a day, but I really do love my craft - I hope she loves me too. For the 5 people that read my blog (I’m being sarcastic but I love my small inner group of viewers) kisses all around. What are you getting up to this summer? - Miriam.
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