I've experienced the loss of someone just not in the way you're thinking.
No one close to me has died yet, so when I see people of other families lose someone I often wonder what it's like. Of course I don't wish this on myself, but curiosity is common in human nature. The loss of someone isn't easy and I know that. Experiences like the de-attachment from relationships/bonds that can never be replaced, they are similar, but still I would declare death incomparable. When I grieve the loss of a relationship I actually think that knowing I might still see them around makes it worse which is ironic because death is surrounded by the fact you will never seen them again, in physical form at least. Don't get it twisted, my past relationships still terrorise my dreams to make me fantasize and fill my head with a bunch of what if's, but it isn't viewed the same as if it was a deceased person because many faiths believe that it is symbolic for them watching over you, which as a grieving person you would naturally find comforting. I like to relate things back to relationships because that's where my strongest bonds were, where I could be emotionally naked. Many people like I go through things that they find difficult to come back from and due to that they start losing sense of themselves. I remember when my anxiety was really present and I spiralling down that hole of, for lack of a better word, sadness. In my head I had already known that I'd lost myself, because in that period of time anything I had done never felt like me. But the thought of reaching that state of calm and happiness is what really helped push me through that, and blogs of course. I feel as though when you have an end goal or an achievement you can't live without making, it makes getting through the hard times a bit easier. When I do lose someone, because death is inevitable, I'm pretty sure I could gauge my reaction in about 3 steps:
Grief at it's finest - Miriam.
0 Comments
Before I get into the blog I had originally written I'd just like to state I had written a poem based on this same topic, stealing ideas from myself? I think so. Not to say that the poem is available for anyone to read but I just don't like plagiarising myself.
Life behind the mask. I feel like I still can't go a day without hearing the words covid-19 and mask even though we've supposedly passed the worst of it. And the worst thing about that is everyone is talking about it but, no one is ever really talking about it. It's used in the form of small talk, which we should all by now know I have a great hatred for. No one is really actually talking about how much covid-19 made them struggle because they had to create a new norm, they had to abide by a whole new set of rules that possibly even made them question if their life was really theirs. No one is really talking about how they had to get to know the people they live with all over again because they were recognising traits they weren't fond of. No one is really talking. I know that opening up about this time will never be easy for lots because it's a large box to unravel but I do feel as though beating around the bush will never help a person overcome their pain. In the blog "Building a Relationship with Myself" I touched on how I had learned to spend time with myself, by myself and actually I know that this was an important milestone within my life because now I can't get enough of me, it took me overcoming a few things in that isolation period to really love me, and I'm fine with that. This amongst others are examples of growth and development that I honestly could say wouldn't have happened if not for that alone time. What's life like now though? I personally think life has been so busy that I haven't really taken time to stop and look around and I know for sure I'm not the only one because many were eager for outdoors to open yet haven't 'been outside' still. Living currently forces me to reflect more and be much more conscious about the decisions I am making for the long run because I've realised the input is as important as the output, basically meaning that our hard work will be rewarded and reciprocated. In terms of the stats, are people still catching covid-19? Are people still passing from the virus? Yes, our global pandemic hasn't entirely been eradicated but, as people the best thing we can do is have actual conversations about it and the struggles that came with it. Do you choose to talk or reflect? - Miriam. |
Archives
September 2023
Categories |