I’ve held myself back from doing one of these updates for 4 months just so that I could have a quarter structure - if you don’t know why I do this it’s to make it a lot easier to have content to drop and don’t go M.I.A every now and then. But in doing this I probably should’ve recorded things that I wanted to discuss over that period of time, but hey, here we are.
The last 40 days were lent and my religious period was quite strange. I decided to give up a specific thing and yes, initially I broke it but when I repented I changed the structure of my sacrifice, and so I went the rest of the period just fine. Was that for convenience or did God show me a sign? I also asked him to eradicate anything that isn’t beneficial to me or show me a sign so I can fulfil it myself but he didn’t, and so to me I was successful. Next year, I may change my sacrifice because through the period I did still see me upkeeping with some bad habits that I do want to change or minimise. And also going through this period I did face a few hardships and learnt that I find police and government authority more distressing than harmful. I obviously won’t go into detail because I can’t but, through all the stressors I have already, even speaking to them is intimidating and genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable. Police really need a rebrand. Mentioning this it also links to the fact that the past keeps making itself prevalent in more ways than one, and that also seems to be a problem for me. The people and situations that are in the past I’d like to be left there, but it is true that your past really does follow you around. Joke to see that word of mouth is eradicated, guilt still hovers over our heads the same. In January’s update I had mentioned that I was considering therapy? It’s no longer on the cards for me because I’ve realised that opening up has its good and bad days, I just tend to fall in the bad spectrum consecutively and so have decided that some things are better unresolved for now. Also from that update I realised that I talk about leaving a lot of decision in my own hands - as if I even know the first place to start when it comes to certain problems. Independence is cool and all but for the rest of the year I want to stop myself from saying, “I’ll figure it out” and either ask for help or leave it to God because I am literally only one woman; I need to leave the world’s problems alone. Anyway on a brighter note, my blog page celebrated her 2 year anniversary last month. I had to make sure I posted that day because it’s important to mark milestones of success. I would’ve never thought that the entirety of thewritingspace would’ve been as successful as it’s been so far and I’m only thinking of bigger and better ways to expand it. To even see 1,600+ people interacting with my Instagram page alone shows a great succession - in case you don’t know I’ve been doing this since 2015 so to see these numbers isn’t foreign because of Lies & Secrets but makes me happy nonetheless that it’s spreading across platforms. And to end us off, it’s my birthday next week - save the date for the 13th - I don’t have anything planned; I never usually do anything to celebrate my birthday anyway, but to see the love and appreciation will suffice for me. I don’t know what it is, but it’s never really a fully fun or enjoyable day for me so I’ve stopped making attempts to celebrate it. Try tell me this wasn't a good quarterly update hm? 13/04 is my star day, shoot me a message - Miriam.
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